The Invitation List

It no particular order, it seems like this is how we're going to start.

In order to have a wedding, it seems you need to have hordes of people to celebrate with you. While it may seem like a simple task to invite every person you spent a shabbos with over the last 8 years of your life, don't fool yourself.

For the purpose of this post, I'm going to give suggestions based on the numbers that come to "mega-weddings" of over 250 people. While I personally endorse small weddings (my parents had 8 guests at their wedding - one aunt is still upset she wasn't invited), I understand that the custom is not that way in the Orthodox Jewish community, and that's not how my wedding was.

Keep in mind that weddings are expensive. I don't know how people pay for them, but they can reach well into the six-figures, and often the amount of people invited have an impact on that. So think about each person you want to invite, and make sure that you want them to be there. Don't feel guilty, and don't just invite someone because they invited you. Only invite those people if you have a desire to stay good friends with them.

As far as how to compose the list, try getting some old lists from friends in the same group. It will help you get a handle and a place to start. Go through your recent emails and your phonebook on your cell. You're always going to forget someone, and just explain it to them.

The end of the story is that while your wedding is an important day, it is a day that will pass. The friends you will keep for life are those that will be with you in the weeks, months and years following the wedding, not those who came for the free food.