Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Her Wedding Dress

The most important thing you must remember is that she is your bride, and she is going to look beautiful to you no matter what she wears on the wedding day. Unfortunately, our kallahs do not see it that way. They will be very concerned with how they look in the dress. Even though they wont let you see it before the wedding, they will kvetch and angst about it with you when it comes time to choosing one.

Here are few things to keep in mind with regards to your relationship to the Wedding Dress:

Tell her how nice she looks
Try and make sure that at the wedding (and for the rest of your lives together) you are saying how good she looks. Make it sincere of course, but don't think you shouldn't mention it even though you did 20 minutes earlier. Whisper it in her ear at the b'deken, say it under the chuppah if you feel comfortable doing that, and say it every chance you get during the dancing. You can't go wrong with this one.

She does NOT look fat!
No matter what she thinks or says, she does not look fat in her dress. She is beautiful, and she is your kallah.

She is uncomfortable in the dress
Her dress is a lot worse than your tux, suit or white khakis and white shirt. She is wearing a 50lbs doily that trails behind her about 6 feet. Be considerate of that at the wedding, and help her with it if that's appropriate.

She will never wear it ever again
There is no question that there is a lot of sentiment and nostalgia attached to a wedding dress, but the reality is that she will never wear it ever again. She spent anywhere from $300-$3000 on it, and it's going to sit in a hermetically-sealed plastic bag until your 25th anniversary where she will take it out and realize how much weight she has put on since you got married. Talk to your kallah about donating her dress to an organization that will loan it out to brides who can't afford a nice dress, but still deserve a nice wedding. It's a great way to spread your simcha and joy to other young couples just starting out.